Analysis of The thoughts

Why am I trapped in my mind, where I can't get out;
I just wanna hurt them, make them feel the pain that I felt;
I don't need help, I'm fine leave me alone;
I know your dreading the call, please don't answer the phone;
That's the thoughts of a manic bipolar, I feel my hearts colder;
I walk around like I got a chip on my shoulder, I got something to prove;
Never thinking of others, just myself like I put all my feelings on a dusty shelve;
I'm shelfish, only thinking of myself, I even got a little kid, I can't believe what I did;
He makes me so happy, He's one of a kind;
But why do I feel trapped again. I can't escape my mind