Analysis of Exist?

An endless wrenching pain ignited by a life spent in vain. Selfish seas of guilt flood my troubled mind. If only time could heal I would stitch these wounds myself, but underneath the surface lay the fetid spores eager to consume my rotting mind. What is left in this world of pain beside material pleasures that no longer keep me sane. Blowing smoke in mirrors to divert my brain, all the while my spirit is being slain. With stoic face and apathetic heart I trudge through the barren landscape of wasted lives laced with tortured souls. Reality sinks in, I will never attain my goals.