Analysis of Apologies

Apologies
But I'm falling backwards
Slipping in and out of sight
Can't be seen today in this dim light
Languishing in loves last bite
My mind is torn between my head
And my heart
I don't know where to start

Apologies
Familiar Street is looking worn
The pictures on the wall show a smiling face
But I can't remember those days
They seem such a long time a go

Apologies
I met you for the first
By the sea
I was on the beach
And you were in the café serving tea
When you spoke
My whole world broke
And nothing else mattered to me
Now I'm here
And the thought of your face
Make my mind break
I just want to destroy
Your internal flame
Your permanent fixture in my heart

Apologies
My words have turned to ice
Blocks of sentences trapped amongst the lies
Those talks we had which were filled with hate
Characters of malice
Hints of what was to become

Apologies
I have forgotten who once loved
It is easier to consign to oblivion
Then bring up those happy memories
Which are now shrouded in pain

Apologies
I saw you for a second time
Hunched up
Leaning against the poor painted railings
By the busy busy shelter
Shielding yourself from the rain
I'm sorry that I did not speak to you
Because ushering a phrase
Might recover those days
Which I want to forget

Apologies
 I bonfire is burning
Time to throw my box of tricks
Into the roaring flames of broken sh*t
The sparks of excitement have gone out
Replaced by the fires of dread

Apologies
I saw you for the third time
You where licking your lollypop so suggestively
Seductively trying to get me into your grasp
Under your wicked charm
But I don't feel the same emotions
Which I put aside only for you
As I have moved on
I have changed
And I don't feel any shame

Apologies
But I can't return your stare
With the same flare in my eyes
My twinkle has turned into a dull, deadpan blink
I don't even care if you cry yourself to sleep
I have moved on
You'll live

Apologies
But those photographs
Drawings
And Letters
Scrawling handwritten notes
Are buried under the potatoes
All those dreams
Are sweltering in the greenhouse heat

Apologies
Don't worry
Just forget about me
Turn my memories into ashes
Only soot and blacked nightmares can remain

Apologies
But when we meet again
May this be the last?
Only I can't go on like this
I mean what do I do if she finds out?