Analysis of Serenity

I will always be your shelter,
Even though you never meant forever!

You were my lifelong defender,
~But now~
 your my number one contender.
I guess it's time to surrender.

God grant me the serenity,
Can you hear my sincerity?
All this negativity,
My veg relativity.

Can anyone hear me now?
Can anyone see me now?
Cuz I've been screaming so loud,
I feel alone in this crowd.
I'm ready to bleed out,
The scars in my heart are so deep now.

Frozen tears like sorrow lead spears,
I guess these arms I must bear.

You've cut through to my soul,
Snatched it up n left a hole.
My souls taken a toll,
Whipped n kicked,
Brutally twisted and constricted .
Inside conflicted turning demented.
This we coulda prevented ,
Becoming resistant,
Stunned we became this distant.

You took the spark to my heart,
Doused n drowned it.
You've given this clown ,
His last broken crown.
No pulse, body shut down.
With emotions run down.

I stand up n grab my pistol,
Put it to my brain and cock it,
But don't have the strength to pop it.
Scream as I drop it,
N run to the faucet.

Take a handful of pills,
Cuz I hear that shit kills.
Now begging and pleading ,
'Please my wrists are bleeding''.
Try to stand up and get queazy .

Wake up with narcan in my veins,
Paramedic chokes as we're speeding down main.
Look around, brand new clothes full of blood stains .
Still here I remain, in the dark parts of your brain.
My memory you won't retain,
Untrap my soul, Ignite my flames.