Analysis of Drunk scores a bullseye.
Doug Blair 1951 (London)
Guy goes into a bar.
Extremely pissed.
And novice bartender
Knows that he shall not
Serve a drunk.
Discussion ensues.
Civil, thankfully.
Drunk says
Don’t wanna drink.
Wanna shoot your darts.
Hey Buddy, that’s too sharp
You shouldn’t.
Could be really dangerous.
Nah…nah just
Give me one shot.
Bullseye without hesitation.
So what prize did I win?
Tender remembered that
Beneath the counter
Was a small turtle.
In a bowl in a box.
Meant for a wee nephew
To be visited later.
Drunk ambled away.
Two weeks later.
Same story.
Darts, bullseye,
request for winnings.
Bartender had forgotten
Previous happenings.
What did we settle on
Last time?
Oh yeah, you gave me
Tasty roast beef in a hard bun.
(Story is entirely the gig of Norm McDonald.)
| Scheme | XABCXXDXXXXAXXCEXXBXXXBX BDXFEFXX DE X |
|---|---|
| Poetic Form | Tetractys (40%) |
| Metre | 110101 0101 01010 11111 101 01001 10100 11 1101 10111 110111 11 1110100 111 1111 1001010 111111 100101 01010 10110 001001 110110 1110010 11001 1110 110 110 01110 101010 100100 111101 11 11111 10110011 10101000111010 |
| Closest metre | Iambic trimeter |
| Characters | 750 |
| Words | 155 |
| Sentences | 24 |
| Stanzas | 4 |
| Stanza Lengths | 24, 8, 2, 1 |
| Lines Amount | 35 |
| Letters per line (avg) | 16 |
| Words per line (avg) | 4 |
| Letters per stanza (avg) | 144 |
| Words per stanza (avg) | 32 |
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Written on February 19, 2023
Submitted by dougb.21370 on February 19, 2023
Modified by dougb.21370 on February 19, 2023
- 46 sec read
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"Drunk scores a bullseye." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/151948/drunk-scores-a-bullseye.>.
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