Analysis of OBSCURITY

OBSCURITY
I watched myself crash into the mud,
Through the obscurity I could see traces of who I was.
The reflection of the innocent, punctual me,
Staring pathetically as my demons devoured me.
Those guilty eyes still craves for beautiful things.
My demons still knows how to care for it's desires.
I pondered aimless at the hands that held me subdued to do the unthinkable
I lay in the dust waiting to be blown away by the wind to a quiet place, where I can deal with the cruel compelling voices, whispering and cheering against me.
With my mind, I wrote stories of victories yet to come.
Victories of me soaring away from my conflicting and divided being
To touch the moonlight that lay dormant anticipating my freedom.
I twitched my ear to the sweet whispers and humming of nature through the wild breeze, and the merriment of the trees, gave me something to dream for.
I sank deeper into the air
Was it in my thought?
Only time knows the history of how far I am determined to fight
While awaiting reality to set me bail from the unrealistic.

I stood, gazing deeply into the troubled and restless sea.
Although it was fierce and intimidating,
But It was lonely and pitiful
Or was it my eyes of which it reflected?
My mind is exhausted and conflicted that somehow it fails to recognise fears of it's own.  
I seem invisible yet the dangers recognise me.
I tore my skin, digging in to find clues that hid tactically, but still showed it's presence and existence
Why do I live a shadow when I can turn around and catch butterflies to add fancy?
My mind is happier, so i thought!
It can dwell on sweet memories of itself, while I turn to see ashes of burnt pasts, that I wish were never born.
The heart, who knows can  build it's own feelings and emotions.
But I, i am a slave that follows it's compellation which I can neither obey nor quit.
I can only add zest to my furrows and anger so I can supposedly call it a smile,
While I sink speechlessly into the obscurity.