Analysis of Blue Dots

My bed
although it's a cot
Because of the blankets and pillows
when I am laying there
Uncomfortable it is not

When I was little
I liked to stay awake
Under the sheets with a flashlight
Reading until my parents took it away.
Now, I must wear glasses
To make up for those years that I would read books by moonlight.

Today, I slept in
Until 5 pm.
When I woke up, I felt guilty about this.
Now, here it is 9am.
And I didn't sleep last night,
At night
Again.

For some, beds are for sleeping.
For others, beds they are needing.
For me, now, my bed is needing my head on the pillows
But I sit on the blankets instead.
Smoking trying to empty my mind of some thoughts about something's my parents had said.
If it had been better at home way back then,
Would I still be the same way?
Smoking the nights up until there was no night left,
Giving up and sleeping all day?
I'm so tired of crazy
Of lazyness
Of chasing blue dots up and down the town streets.
I'm so tired of crazy
Of laziness
Of smoking blue dots until I'm not me.
I'm not sure what this is
Maybe it's imprisonment
But I've been to prison
And in prison I wasn't free to chase anything on any street at all.
I think I remember myself on the very edge of a shelf
And then I jumped.........
Well, then, I must still be falling.