Analysis of I Miss It (MAJOR TW for self-injury)

I never wanted
To start self-harming,
But once I started,
There was no
Going back.
Now I’ve stopped
But I still feel
The desperate need
To do it again;
I miss it
So much sometimes.
I miss the sting,
The pain,
The bumps
On my skin,
The fresh scars,
The blood,
The blades.
I miss it all.
I still scratch sometimes,
Tenderly stroking
My faded scars
And reminiscing
About my past,
Wishing so much
I hadn’t stopped
So I could still do it
Whenever I feel despaired
Or depressed,
But I promised
And now I can’t.
I know I couldn’t deal
If I had to go back
To a hospital
For my addiction,
So I tremble with
The crazy,
Needy,
Desperate,
Awful urges,
Unable to do anything
Because I had promised.