Analysis of The Ghost

Running from the ghost inside of my mind.
Knowing I should be dead instead of just blind.
In the material world i cant find my place.
Trying to plant roots inside time and space.

Seeking to anchor myself to this life,
Has proven so futile, resulted in strife
But what tries to find me scares me the most
I keep running  away from an invisible ghost

As i run im not sure what im seeking to find
Silver or gold doesn't tempt me to mine
Maybe a place or a refuge for me to call home
Its solace i seek as i continue to roam

Please God i pray for your favor to be.
Cause joy and sunshine to start chasing me
I want to be happy, have friends, as well love.
To smile and laugh...be free as a dove.

I asked for strength, i now change my plea
I want to be human and free just to be
I dont think its self pity...its curiosity
Why was this ghost assigned to me?

And Why am i running away from this ghost
When I seek for refuge,  it bothers me most
An invisible enemy no one can see
The ghost only targets specifically me

What does it want...what does it seek
What does it get out of haunting me?
Is there no reconciling the lust of this ghost?
To haunt me and disrupt what i want the most?

As i run i see things that most do not see
The faces, the countryside, the survivor in me
Do others understand? So far not a one
They think im just crazy chasing the sun

This is my journey the cards I've been dealt
If only i could embrace what needs to be felt
I may one day rid myself of this ghost
If i could comprehend the value in being its host

Ghost begs continually for attention you see
It has no mercy, no humanity towards me.
I change my locations and find its still there
Its relentless pursuit of me leaves me in despair.

My one and only hope is my trust in the One
Who made Heaven and earth..the moon and the sun
May goodness and justice and mercy prevail
As i undergo the conclusion of this ghostly tale. 
You see I've finally stopped running...
its been plain to see...
My ghost is the child inside...
SHE IS ME.