Analysis of Escape From Reality

No matter how fast I run
I will never escape reality
All of my problems,
insecurities and
worries keeping me awake
feeling my heartbreak
If there's anything I'm good at it's
overthinking
It's even caused scars on my skin
reminding me everyday
how weak I am.
Nobody knows my hugest secret,
that I hate myself
in every possible way.
I put on a fake smile everyday
just to keep the fake care away.
I'm dying on the inside
but refuse to accept it until night falls.
They say they care,
but when I tell them about what I'm going through
they call me stupid and a freak and leave my life
I call them my friends
but are they really?
I just want to escape reality
and actually be happy
I know I've disappointed him
And that's what hurts the most
My final wish is for my ashes to be spread out by the coast
Right next to him for eternity I will lie
Now I'm here waiting in pain for the day I die.