The Wretched Idol (2003)

Dear Lord, take my rage and rip the core out of my burning heart.
Take, now, the hatred out of my dripping wounds, oozing with venom,
and smash the spirit against the kissing stone.
How dare he asks me from where my paroxysm comes
when he feeds the flame whose fuel is slowly consumed under the sprinkled sky.

Crush every pebble until the granules are scattered amongst the grains
of the sands with such force that no man has ever witnessed.
Pulverize the rocks without mercy until the truths of the realization
are cast upon those above who continue without mercy or compassion to inflict distress.

Compel their minds to realize their anguish is theirs to bear and not to be passed down.

Cast out the hatred that burns in the souls of the progenitors.
Cast aside the contracts and legal facades like the clouds after a storm.
Give them while they still live the strength, the wisdom,
the realization that they continue to fight from the grave.
Allow them to realize their own demons and confront them first before they can save their own offspring.
When, when, when will this happen?

Just when I thought the final curtain had been drawn bringing the saga to a close the play drags on and on.
Kill this demon now dear Lord, kill it now before it kills us all.
Pluck the eyes from this beast and drop them in the Dead Sea to melt under the sun.
Give hope to a young woman with three of her own
who is so desperately searching for some kind of love
in her memories of how parents are supposed to love but instead see bitterness and scorn.

Dear God, I beseech you to hear my agony piercing through my skin,
to give me the strength to realize the foolishness of others is no match
compared to your flame.
Melt the stones and pour the batch into my heart
and let me remake the world
if You can't spread this wisdom to others.

God please d*mn my rage and erupt it into the heavens
and sprinkle upon the land like a fine grey dust thinly coating all.
When this wrath has passed will it ever end, will it be too late.
Let all who witness turn not a head but force the demon,
surround and consume without a moment's hesitation.

And when all is done and the rains have washed the silt to the oceans
and it all has settled upon the floors let all other stones remember that Your grasp can conquer all, without impunity.

That with Your grace the white dove will fly again one day
and grace the stark blue sky, with wings outstretched, floating on air, and the stone that lay with hatred and tension can stay on the ground. Let my father and mother forget about this forever and for once, just love their children in whatever way they can.
This demon will not destroy my hope, my dreams.

But when will it die?
Or will it ever die?
What must I do?
Harden and grow blind?

Never shall I forget but someday I will inch forward learning
to dismiss from the mind the pain in my chest
and always remember this pain I alone bear,
never to be passed on to others.

If You ever grace me with progeny of my choosing,
may they triumph and shatter under their feet any stone that dare lay as a trap to trip and maim, but instead turn to dust and forever no longer exist.
Let the memory remain of a man and a woman who for an instance saw love and let their children love to enjoy the day passing.

Thank you dear God for assisting me in my quest to banish the Devil from Earth
and send him into Hell for eternity where he can be consumed by the fires.

Seek out Truth or Truth will seek you out. Patience and Tranquility are my aims. They conquer lies and hatred and agitation and anxiety.