It Ain't Easy Being Green

There is something fascinating
maybe even aggravating
about this whole “green” movement.
In fact,
It often leaves me seeing red.

People buy 100% recycled toilet paper
and tuck it neatly away in the backseat
of their oversized, gas guzzling army vehicle,
and drive off into the sunset,
completely satisfied with their contribution
to the “green” movement.

Recently I had a conversation with a woman
who explained to me that so far she had tried
“every single green spray or powder to kill the ants”
in her yard.

She was so puzzled when I laughed and laughed
and tried to explain the irony
of trying to kill an integral part of the ecosystem
in an environmentally friendly fashion.

I explained that the greenest thing to do
would be to spend an afternoon, sitting in her yard,
it utter harmony with all creatures.
She asked if Harmony came in a spray bottle.