Can you help me feel?

I need to feel,
I wish I could feel,
Anger, happiness, pain, sadness, pleasure.
I just want to feel something for once in my life.
I can see,
See the steam,
See my skin reddening,
I can't feel the scalding, hot water
I need to feel,
I see the blood gush out of the soft tan skin of my wrist,
I need to feel the sticky red substance gush out of the growing slit,
Why can't I feel?
I see it travel down along with the cooling water,
Trickling down my hand, down the drain,
I see it draining slowly,
In big circles with bubbles trailing it,
I see it; I need to feel it.
I see myself in the fogged mirror,
I see the wet tears sliding down my face,
I don't feel the trail of wetness they leave on my plump cheek.
I see my raised hand; I see it collide forcefully and fast with the mirror,
I see the shards of glass now embedded in the skin surrounding my knuckles,
I see my now swollen, broken hand,
I see the blood now oozing completely out of one of my knuckles,
Down my finger,
And past the slit on my wrist.
I need to feel the throbbing,
I need to feel the pain,
I WANT to feel the pain.
I see myself, now broken into more pieces than I was before,
What did you see in me?
I couldn't feel,
I CANT feel,
All I want is to feel,
Can you help me feel?