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I Didn't Want To Live



I didn't want to smile; not even express even the most infinitesimal iota of my happiness,

I didn't want to run; not even drift my euphorically exhilarating foot even a fraction forward; to gallop with the perniciously dying winds,

I didn't want to wrestle; not even bulge even an insipid swell of muscle; out of my profoundly poignant and knotted shirt,

I didn't want to sing; not even stretch even the most inconspicuous chord of my throat; to pump melody in the disdainfully bereaved atmosphere,

I didn't want to emulate; not even copy even the most capricious of actions of cold-bloodedly wandering devils; flaming and around,

I didn't want to embrace; not even swirl even the most remote chunk of my poignantly robust flesh; towards devilishly abhorrently entities on this colossal
planet,

I didn't want to sleep; not even close my heavenly eyelids an ephemeral inch; to replenish my devastated countenance with spell binding sleep,

I didn't want to flirt; not even liberate even the most fugitive glimpse of my mischievous visage; towards the viciously adulterated ambience around,

I didn't want to triumph; not even unfurl into the most diminutive shadow of blazing vibrancy; amidst the parasites ghastily sucking blood outside,

I didn't want to fantasize; not even tax the crannies of my brain a mercurial shadow; to perceive about thissalaciously penalizing and gory world,

I didn't want to yawn; not even relax my exasperatedly beleaguered body a parsimonious trifle; to relish the fruits of this miserably blood-soaked globe,

I didn't want to eat; not even satiate my horrendously famished tongue an ethereal component; with the fodder of truculently dictatorial tyranny,

I didn't want to stare; not even concentrate an obfuscated bit with my diligent eyes; worthlessly whiling away my time sighting the ungainly rich mercilessly thrashing the diminutively deprived,

I didn't want to bless; not even shower even the most oblivious trace of my empathy; to all those erecting their palaces of gold on bountifully innocent soil; and then opening their discordant mouths to whine,

I didn't want to pray; not even ask the Almighty Lord even an evanescent showering of bliss; with all baselessly marauding and massacring politicians metamorphosing this earth into the most ultimate of disaster,

I didn't want to preach; not even waste even the most faintest rhythm of my sagacious voice; for all those dastardly rascals who sold their own mothers; for
bathing in raunchy cigar smoke and wine,

I didn't want to breathe; not even fill my lungs a threadbare trace; with the maliciously venomous graveyard of air; perfidiously lingering outside,

I didn't want to love; not even fulminate even the most inaudible beat of my heart; towards an entrenchment of vindictive lies and worthlessness; that brutally incarcerated me in this robotic age; from all sides,

O! Yes; I have no shame whatsoever in divulging that I didn't want to live anymore in this treacherously lambasting world today; for if this planet as manipulative as it was for just one more minute; then it was better to commit suicide and die; than to kiss
the fireballs of celestially sacred life.
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Submitted by nikhilparekh on October 03, 2019

2:40 min read
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Nikhil Parekh

Nikhil Parekh , ( born August 27 ; 1977 ) from Ahmedabad , India - is a Love Poet and 10 time National Record holder for his Poetry with the Limca Book of Records India , which is India's Best Book of Records , also Ranked 2nd in the World officially to Guinness Book of World Records . He is an author of - ' LONGEST BOOK written by a mortal - COLLECTED POETRY ' , which has a Print Length of 5254 pages on the Amazon Kindle . The Poet's style of Poetry / literature is unique and has never ever been written before or experimented on the mortal planet by any mortal . Though his Poetry / literature is normal and natural . 10 Different National Records held by Parekh with the Limca Book of Records India are for - (1) Being the First Indian Poet to be published / featured in McGill English Dictionary of Rhyme which is the World's Number 1 English Rhyming Dictionary - for his poem: Come Lets Embrace our New Religion (2) Being the First Indian Poet to have won Poet of the Year Award at the Canadian Federation of Poets which is Canada's National Poetry Body endorsed by Governor General of Canada (3) Being the First Indian Poet to be published in a Commonwealth Newsletter for his poem on AIDS which is 'Aids doesn't kill. Your Attitude kills (4) Being the First Indian Poet to win an EPPIE award for best poetry e-book (5) Writing the most number of letters to and receiving the most number of replies from World Leaders and World Organizations (6) Being the First Indian Poet to be Goodwill Ambassador to the International Goodwill Treaty for World Peace - GoodwillTreaty.org (7) Being the First Indian Poet whose Poems have been made into Films at Youtube.com - The World's largest video sharing website (8) Being the 1st Indian Poet to be featured for his Poetry Book - 'Love versus Terrorism- Poems on Anti Terror, Peace' , at Wattpad.com - The World's most popular ebook community and largest website for reading books on mobile phones (9) Being the first Indian Poet whose video reciting a Poem on Nelson Mandela , has been placed at the official website of the Government of South Africa (10) Having authored LONGEST BOOK written by a mortal - COLLECTED POETRY - which is of Print Length 5254 pages and currently has approximately 1.15 million words , financially selling in the Amazon.com Kindle Store United States at - http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003Y8XLKQ . The Indian Poet has written thousands of varied poems on - God , Peace , Love , Anti Terrorism , Friendship , Life , Death , Environment, Wildlife , Mother , Father , Children , Parenthood , Humanity , Social Cause , Women empowerment , Poverty , Lovers , Brotherhood . His Books and Poems have had millions of viewers and downloads on the Internet . Parekh is an author of 47 varied Books which include - 1 God ( volume 1 to volume 4 ) , The Womb ( volume 1 to volume 2 ) , Love Versus Terrorism ( Part 1 to Part 2 ) , You die; I die - Love Poems ( Part 1 to Part 16 ) , Life = Death ( volume 1 to volume 10 ), The Power of Black ( volume 1 to volume 2 ) , If you cut a tree; you cut your own mother , Hide and Seek ( part 1 to part 8 ) , Longest Poem written by Nikhil Parekh - Only as Life . These Books comprise of nearly a 7000 pages of his Poetry in their entirety . The Poet's Poetry has had the patronization of several versatile World Leaders including the Queen of England . Visit http://nikhilparekh.net ; the webpage . more…

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    "I Didn't Want To Live" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 28 Oct. 2021. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/50096/i-didn't-want-to-live>.

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