Because I cannot Speak

Because I cannot Speak

Because I cannot speak to him
A mere glance from a distance
I still find myself doing somersaults in my stomach as he catching me mesmerized
Why must this be so undeniably irresistible
Why must I continue to build him up
As I stagger and stumble on my own footsteps
I cannot have him but the fantasy is so reachable
As if I am able to touch the first raindrop of the season or the first snowflake on my nose
“I don’t believe in fairytales, baby” he repeatedly reminds me
But tell me why a heart beats so fast with tears that fill your eyes
Why with all the miles in between can 2 souls still want the other
Why is the connection so powerful like a bolt of lightning hitting the sand, making a fossilized bolt, all perfectly intertwined with all its twist and turns, as if it shows the veins of a heart that is beautiful in its imperfections
Because I cannot speak to him
I write all the love letters addressed to him but never send out
“Let me go, you are better off without me,” he pleads to me
Yet clarify why days, months, and years I still find myself yearning for the last touch, that undeniable forever we both crave
For if one day I hear your heart beat matching mine, I’ll never let you go
That’s the day I know that fantasies are real and fairytales become a reality
And you my, forever love, are now a believer of happily ever afters
Because I cannot speak to him
I pray and wish for him to see
That he is more than any man
That he is deserving of all good
That he too, can have the love he so aches for instead of settling for what ifs and what could be
Like Noah and Allie from the Notebook
The over zealous attraction, the consumption of passion, and a frenzied of desire
Those are just a mere image of what I feel for you
But because I cannot speak to you
I write my love story
Still with no ending that expresses just exactly how intense my love is for you
Yet I wait, and wait…
For one day, we finally speak the truth