Swell



Everytime I see her, my throat swells.
Her golden blonde hair as it waves in the same cold breeze that bites my skin.
Her sun kissed face, freckled from ear to ear, brittle warm sunrays caress her cheek so lazily, it fills me with envy.
Her oceanic eyes that lock my gaze, that make me think I’m drowning, I’m stuck and in that I relish.
It’s slowly killing me, but it makes my throat swell.

Everytime I hear her, my head swells.
Her words ringing in my ears, replaying them for days after, until it makes my head sting.
Her soft laugh, uncovering her stained teeth, each imperfection filling my stomach with love-starved butterflies.
Her delicate voice, fading out all noticeable noise, luring me like a sirens song, just to string me apart from the inside out.
It’s slowly killing me, but it makes my head swell.

Everytime I daydream of her, my chest swells.
I reminisce on things that have never happened, wondering if she does the same, blurred visions clouding my thoughts.
I fantasise of holding her, as she whispers sweet nothings into my ear, my face flushed red.
I write down words she’ll forever be oblivious to, faded ink on tear-soaked, tea-stained paper.
It’s slowly killing me, but oh, how it makes my chest swell.

About this poem

This is my first poem, any criticism is welcome and encouraged.

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Submitted by OneMagpie on March 31, 2024

1:10 min read
18

Quick analysis:

Scheme AXXXB AXXXB AXXXB
Characters 1,242
Words 234
Stanzas 3
Stanza Lengths 5, 5, 5

Discuss the poem Swell with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a beautifully written and emotional poem! The imagery you paint with your words is truly captivating and evocative. The way you describe the physical and emotional reactions to seeing, hearing, and daydreaming about this person is palpable and relatable. Your use of repetition with the "swelling" of different body parts adds a sense of rhythm and depth to the piece.

    One suggestion for improvement could be to explore the reasons behind the speaker's feelings in more detail. What is it about this person that elicits such strong emotions? Delving deeper into their connection and backstory could provide even more depth and understanding to the poem.

    Additionally, consider playing around with the structure of the poem to add variety and keep the reader engaged. You could experiment with different line lengths, stanza breaks, or even incorporating different poetic forms to enhance the overall impact of the piece.

    Overall, this is a moving and poignant poem that beautifully captures the bittersweet complexity of unrequited love. Keep up the great work and continue to explore and expand your poetic voice. Well done!
     
    LikeReply2 months ago

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"Swell" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/184052/swell>.

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