Totem

Hey now
I can't wrap my mind around you
The way I'd like to
So I feel sad now
Cause I can't have
What I don't even know about
But still
It feels
Like I'm missing out
On something big
Something I could really live for
But the doors not right
It's shut too tight
And the lights all wrong
Shadows way to long
That halo around your face
Has your features misplaced
And blurred and dark and curved
But my memory is open
And you are like my totem
While I am growing and glowing
But not really knowing
Who's in front of me
Maybe I see what I want to see
Maybe I see what I need
But it's not all fantasy
You really do make me feel
You really do help me heal
And those hands are real
And you do look like steel
So grey
It falls off your face
As you move
Brittle and smooth and beautiful
Like youth but aged
Forever changed
Sad eyes like water
Sad eyes like my father