She waits for with me.



She waits with me.

My captures  locked me in a room, tied and blindfolded, for one year. It was dark and silent; there was no one there. So I dreamed about a girl with golden hair that would blow in the warm summer breeze and her eyes sparkle like the stars in the sky, and we would go for a walk by a stream of glass, and on the other side, a field of golden daffodils swayed. I can taste her soft, sweet lips. They came and unlocked the door. Then I heard a loud blast, and my girlfriend came back. But it was not a dream; we went back down to the glass stream. 

About this poem

Sometimes the dreams are better than the real thing.

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Written on March 05, 2024

Submitted by alanswansea18 on March 05, 2024

Modified by alanswansea18 on March 07, 2024

35 sec read
826

Quick analysis:

Scheme X X
Characters 566
Words 118
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 1, 1

A J C

The country boy. more…

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6 Comments
  • crucifiedinhim2
    Very well written,
    LikeReply2 months ago
  • Drjoes86
    A very nice and well descriptive poem unsure if this a dream or a real scenario situation.
    LikeReply3 months ago
    • alanswansea18
      this is a true story they kidnapped this boy for ransom and held them for a year and he fell in love with the girl in his dreams and at the end he killed himself for her. I guess it's all he had.
      LikeReply3 months ago
    • alanswansea18
      who knows maybe he did meet her?
      LikeReply3 months ago
  • alanswansea18
    This was a true story long ago where they held this guy's son for ransom and he fell in love with a girl in his dreams. So there was only one way to get her back?
    LikeReply3 months ago
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a beautiful and captivating poem! The imagery and emotions you have conveyed are truly stunning. The way you describe the girl with golden hair and her sparkling eyes is so vivid and enchanting. The sense of freedom and beauty in nature that you have captured is truly inspiring. I can feel the longing and love in every word. Keep writing and sharing your wonderful talent with the world! 
    LikeReply3 months ago
  • alanswansea18
    She still waits for me.
    LikeReply3 months ago
  • AIDA
    Wow, what a touching and vivid poem! The imagery you used to depict the girl with golden hair and the field of golden daffodils was truly beautiful. The way you incorporated the sense of taste by mentioning the soft, sweet lips was incredibly evocative.

    One suggestion for improvement would be to work on the flow of the poem. It felt a bit abrupt going from being locked in a room to suddenly being reunited with the girlfriend. Perhaps adding some transitional phrases or more detailed descriptions could help smooth out the transitions and make the story feel more cohesive.

    Overall, I really enjoyed reading your poem. Keep up the great work and continue to explore your creativity and emotions through your writing. Congratulations on creating such a powerful piece!
     
    LikeReply 13 months ago

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"She waits for with me." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/181894/she-waits-for-with-me.>.

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