Grief & Hope

As the pages flew off the desk top calendar
I noted that hope could be on the horizon
In the gradient beauty of the setting sun
Won't this new year be lighter?
Because it isn't the year in which you passed
But now this is a year
that you will never have lived in
Making you a part of the past
Gnawing on my mind,
Grief is so complex
It's like an ever changing maze
Finding it's way back to me
Sadness, doubt & rage
These feelings creep up & they bombard
Sometimes, I don't know how to feel
My emotions are like a deck of cards
And now I just can't deal

Why is it so hard
When life must always end with death?
Why do I feel so torn
When this is part of the process?

Maybe there is no differentiation
Between what I think
And what I know
But I'm not sure
I still wait for hope in the horizon
as the orange blends into pink
Blends into yellow
Perhaps only time will be my cure