All Bent Up

Here I sit and ponder how I might have bent my mind into a pretzel shape,
How all the accidental overthought may have led to my feeling distraught over ideas that I'd intended to instead bring me peace..
And yet here I am with no cheese nor mustard dip in sight..
The shadows surrounding me I must have created so I know there's no reason to put up a fight, no sense in kicking or punching at the dark unless I desire a black eye at the end of the night..
Contemplating how I had yearned to find out what the nature of truth was all about, thinking I already had an inkling  when somehow out of somewhere I know not how to define, something shifted..
And suddenly things that had seemed to bring me peace felt distant, still graspable yet simultaneously meaningless, within reach yet perhaps it was something within that had become vaguely resistant..
I had been told I had a newfound freedom to create a new purpose yet the curse is while I'd always felt I had that creative capability it had overnight ineffably changed from a perceived gift into what felt like a burden..
How to deal with the weight? How to navigate my way out of the maze?
 And as soon as I had asked the questions I was met with the wisdoms of a chorus of internal voices.. The answer is that you know this.. Time was never as linear as you've led yourself to believe and you already understand that you've done it..
With an Atlas within finding footing on an ever spinning compass both of which you've created..
Those voices..
Just like the lantern that casts the loving light to create and in turn disintegrate any shadows that may hang around the hangman at the gallows or the bright morning sunlight refracting rainbows within the prizmic dew drops gracing the tongue of the grazing doe in the meadow..
And then I remember to remind myself that I am but a fragment, a placement of pigment, in touch with the entire masterpiece, at one with the artist yet also just a piece of a puzzle that makes up the speck of salt upon the pretzel all bent into shape in the kitchen of my mind...