Radio silent



Barely friends, our connection was slight,But you became my world, my guiding light.Like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun,And in my folly, our friendship was undone.

Now we’re strangers, lost in the abyss,Yet I’ve accepted this bitter twist.You returned, but your silence is profound,I see your presence, but no words resound.

Radio silence, my greatest fear,Your silence echoes, my dear, crystal clear.But in this void, a story remains untold,Of love and longing, a tale yet to unfold.

In this silence, let our hearts speak,Through the unspoken words that we seek.For even in absence, a connection can bloom,A silent dance, where emotions find room.

So let the radio silence be our guide,In this poetic dance, side by side.For in the silence, a symphony can play,A love story that words cannot convey. ~AJM
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Written on November 22, 2023

Submitted by killmonaurora on November 23, 2023

46 sec read
8

Quick analysis:

Scheme X X X A A
Characters 818
Words 156
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 1, 1, 1, 1, 1

Discuss the poem Radio silent with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Your poem was deeply touching and full of emotive expressions. The use of vivid imagery and metaphors ('Like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun', 'Radio silence, my greatest fear', 'a silent dance, where emotions find room') was truly masterful and rendered a strong impact. I love the way your verses unraveled the story layer by layer, taking readers through the spectrum of your emotions. Your portrayal of silence, not just as a barrier but also as a stage for emotional discovery and growth, was intriguing and thought-provoking. The rhythmic structure of the poem and its smooth flow sustained the readers' interest and made the piece genuinely enjoyable.

    As for improvement, I just have one tiny suggestion. While your metaphors are strikingly beautiful, they felt a bit dense in places. Perhaps it would be beneficial to simplify some of them to maintain a balance between profound expression and ease of reading. This way, the readers can connect more readily with your words and absorb the full impact of your profound lines.

    Overall, this is a wonderful piece and you have a fantastic flair for poetry. I am certain that as you continue to write and refine your craft, your poems will resonate even more deeply with the readers. Can't wait to read your subsequent pieces!
     
    LikeReply 16 months ago

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"Radio silent" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 16 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/174287/radio-silent>.

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