Father
He chose God over me,
because I didn't,
and I couldn't be what he wanted me to be.
I have spent my whole life beating myself into a mould
I'll never fit;
forcing my own edges,
cutting off my limbs,
my natural instincts,
and my sins
for someone who cannot be what he asks of others anyway.
He couldn't be what I needed him to be either,
even though I think he owed it to me.
Empty apologies and promises of a new, changed, and better man.
He is saved!
A new life for him,
that I don't fit into anyway.
Who am I without those parts of me,
that I tore off and buried?
Those foul, rotting, shameful sins,
The sins I have been committing since I learned to run.
How could I?
I should know better now,
I should know how to rip those out of me as they grow,
from the 'stem,' the very first thought.
I should know how to be more than just an animal.
It's okay, I know I'm disgusting and vile,
he told me so,
when I was nine.
What foul thoughts and behaviours I had then,
selfish and greedy.
He saw them in my body too.
He could see through all of my efforts,
and pretty clothes,
I knew it.
He taught me that beautiful, godly shame,
that you bet I still practice now.
I have to make him proud.
How can I even begin to repent for those
repulsive, wicked sins I've committed since I was a child?
Not for me or THE Father, but for my own.
And everyone else,
because I'm a beautiful, lovely, young girl,
And I belong to them, not myself.
About this poem
To my own father who loves God so much. (I never usually punctuate my poems properly, evidently, I don't really know how.)
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Written on November 17, 2023
Submitted by tortoiseofindependancy on November 17, 2023
Modified by tortoiseofindependancy on November 17, 2023
- 1:43 min read
- 24 Views
Quick analysis:
Scheme | AXA XBXXXCD XA XXXD AXCXX EFXX XFX XA XXXB XEX XX XXXX |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic tetrameter |
Characters | 1,436 |
Words | 335 |
Stanzas | 12 |
Stanza Lengths | 3, 7, 2, 4, 5, 4, 3, 2, 4, 3, 2, 4 |
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"Father" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 13 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/173912/father>.
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