Beautiful

That moment stayed with me.
The moment when I looked in the mirror
and I thought that I was
beautiful.

I have never known myself as “beautiful”.
I’ve always been the tomboy of the twins.
I never thought it was possible for me to be beautiful.
I was always okay with not being that beautiful.
“Beauty is pain”. they say
Being beautiful is much less painful than looking in the mirror and seeing somebody who is ugly
ugly like me.
I am unsure if I am beautiful.

You are beautiful.
You have always been beautiful.
You always will be beautiful.
I always wonder
what your struggles are.
I wonder if you agree with me when I say that you are
beautiful.

I wish I had somebody to call me beautiful.
Somebody to tuck the hair behind my ear and say:
“You look so very beautiful today”
I wish that when it came to my love life
it wasn’t such an awkward subject for me.
I wish that I was normal, and accepted.
I wish my love life  was “the o.g”

I like to think that I am beautiful
the way orange juice is delicious:
It is very sour at first,
but if you can withstand the tang,
maybe I will blow you away.