Failure is mine

Failure isn't hereditary, it's mine only
To be different is to be the same, because of a path that I clung onto too hard now I can't detach
I carved that I was doing my best in every piece of skin that was available
I burned red so that they would never ask me if I was unavailable
And I was both, but how can that be explicable?
I was doing my best but had too much time on my hands
I was trying but could only fail
And I would take each night to make amends
To the hand that feeds, the hand that always sends
And along the way I became the hand that receives, the hand that could only take