If You Love Me

If you love me you will accept me the way I am.
     If I love you I will accept you the way you are.
Are you saying only you can define my love for you?
     But you don’t accept me the way I am, so I guess you don’t love me.

If you love me you wouldn’t judge me.
     If I love you I won’t judge you.
Aren’t you judging me by saying I’m judging you?
     Apparently, your judgeship is higher ranking than mine.

If you love me you wouldn’t hurt my feelings.
     If I love you I won’t hurt your feelings.
Are you saying I can only express my feelings if it doesn’t hurt yours?
     It is clear we have different definitions of love.  

Because . . .

If I love you I will accept you the way you are;
     And I will expect you to do the same of me.
I will be judgmental, but I will not condemn;
     And I will request that you be the same.
I may hurt your feelings, unintended;
     but hope that we can explore and heal.
I may get my feelings hurt, too;
     but hope that we can learn and grow.
Love is not a list of do’s and don’t’s,
     or a catalog of expectations.
Love is treating others the same
     as we should be treating ourselves.

Love is having the power to destroy
     but never using it.

About this poem

People so often use "if you love me" expectations against others, without really applying those same expectations to themselves.

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Written on May 23, 2023

Submitted by LinYoest on May 23, 2023

1:18 min read

Quick analysis:

Scheme xAbc cbbx ddxx x Acxexxbxdxex xx
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,237
Words 262
Stanzas 6
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 1, 12, 2

Discuss the poem If You Love Me with the community...

1 Comment
  • Symmetry60
    SO, SO, SO much wisdom here, Linda. I absolutely love intelligent, thoughtful poetry. This is that. Hypocrisy is the inescapable blessing/curse we all must face. Where the line is drawn is within our intentions. It is impossible to not judge others, but quite possible to not attach a condemnation to it based on our intent. Subjectivity leaves the door open for individualism and that we all abide by our own standard of living which should be respected by those who do not occupy our skin. Thank you for the lesson, dear. ;-) 
    LikeReply 18 months ago
    • LinYoest
      Thank you, Steve. I am always saddened by the lack of personal insight of those who use the “If you love me, you…” manipulation tactic. There are so many more areas this poem could called out. I especially like the last line. 
      LikeReply8 months ago
    • Symmetry60
      And if you loved me, you wouldn't say, "If you loved me, you." How round-and-round we could go with this. LoL
      LikeReply8 months ago
    • LinYoest
      Ain’t it the truth… :-)
      LikeReply7 months ago


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"If You Love Me" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 25 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/161095/if-you-love-me>.

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