Amnesthesia

It would seem we don't get to choose
which memories we lose
nor those we keep
the ones that repeat, endlessly

If I could
I would remember everything about you
and forget all about them

I’d remember every lesson I learned
every call of every bird I've ever heard
every detail of all the books
every recipe, every direction
every conversation
every emotion and your associated looks

Though this has never happened
here it is again
I recognize the strangers and forget my friends
unaware of the dangers
I feel my mind descend
Something so novel becomes familiar
Losing the feelings at the ends of my fingers
I writhe and wither, flail and flounder
Racing in place until the energy escapes
I become exhausted and lost
though rescued from the thoughts
the ones that repeat, endlessly
Memories erased

Now I try to recall what I was taught
within the chaos
within the calm
with the knowledge retained but the lessons lost
a better understanding remains but without the facts
it lacks detail
without confirmation
it instills confusion
creates doubt

and so it would seem
we don't get to choose
which memories we lose
nor those we keep
but if I could
I would remember
everything