Moving On

Why's TV so full of shit?
It's not like I don't pay for it,
Phil n Holly, Ant n Dec
As if I give a flyin' feck!

Grand Designs ‘n’ Garden Rescue?
Piss right off is all I ask you,
Kirstie, Philip, Charlie Dimmock
Sod you all, you bunch of pillocks!

GoggleBox? You pull my chain,
I'd rather open a bleedin vein!
Four In A Bed? Don't get me started,
That stinks worse than if they'd farted!

The One Show? What a bag o’ knackers,
Alex ‘n’ Ronan, the happy-clappers,
Spouting bullshit for our consumption
Just go and stick up yer junction!

And McIntyre, you utter wanker
You prancing, gurning human canker,
Brain-dead compere for Big Show frolics
A never-ending stream of bollocks!

Later on it gets no better,
Serious twats in shitty sweaters.
Newsnight? That's just 'boo' n 'hiss',
Victoria Derbyshire boils my piss.

So turn it off, is that the answer?
Stop the rot, the mental cancer?
Sit alone in virtuous silence?
No chance, mate - I’ve paid me licence!