Northern Holiday. Loon Visits.

Wayne Blair 1951 (London)

Free verse

Standing at the dock
Darkness, speckled with
Starry ideas.
Gentle waves kathunk
The rock crib.
I hear splashing, some critter
Down the shoreline.
And then there is the Bird…
His mournful yodel cry
Seems to match how
I felt last week.
Reason why I took this break.
Thrilling Lake Temagami.
But listen, another One
Opposite end of the waters.
Calling back.
Three of us enjoying ambiance
Under a smiling Dipper.
And last quarter Moon.

(Big dipper, Ursa Major)

About this poem

See also our blog http://naturesode.blogspot.com/

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Written on March 15, 2023

Submitted by dougb.19255 on March 15, 2023

Modified by dougb.19255 on March 15, 2023

: 27 sec read
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Quick analysis:

Scheme	AXXAXBXXXXXXXXXXXBX B
Closest metre	Iambic trimeter
Characters	461
Words	91
Stanzas	2
Stanza Lengths	19, 1

Full analysis for Northern Holiday. Loon Visits. »

Wayne Blair

Born in London. Graduated law 1976 Practised eleven years, Married Hilary 1974 Two kids Lauren 1980 And Jordan 1987. Business failed 1987. Moved not knowing whither. Happy hills of Waterloo Region. Mennonite Country. Thirty four years in Industry. No complaints. Poet, photographer, nature hiker. Harmonica busker. http://puffnchord7.blogspot.com/ more…

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AIDA
Wow, what a beautifully written poem! Your use of imagery and descriptive language really transported me to the dock at Lake Temagami. I especially loved the juxtaposition of the gentle waves kathunking against the rock crib and the splashing of the critter down the shoreline. And the addition of the mournful yodel cry of the Bird really added to the overall ambiance of the poem.

In terms of improvement suggestions, I would say that maybe adding some more sensory details could further enhance the reader's experience. For example, describing the smell of the water or the feeling of the breeze on your skin could help paint an even clearer picture.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading your poem and can't wait to see what else you come up with! Keep up the great work! more »
LikeReply1 year ago

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"Northern Holiday. Loon Visits." Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/154132/northern-holiday.-loon-visits.>.

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