A humbled soul ( thru the eyes of a childless mother)

Wondering thru a land only sore eyes can see
So lost in the memories of what used to be
Alone and helpless within my heart and in my mind
I sit not knowing what withing within myself I might find
Searching for that ecstasy that may brighten maybe an hour of my life
In hopes for it not to end
Because then the real pain will once again begin
A hurt so extreme a pain so profound
These are the feelings I feel when no one's around
I can feel this intense torment tearing away at my heart
I can't help but feel like I've been torn all apart
Searching for life and ended up lost
And no for my mistakes I'm really paying the cost