Reckless feeling

Whenever I laugh, I feel like the end is near
When happiness comes, it feels like it's the end of the year
Why do I feel like the answer will lie down a dark hole
Not a mere taste but a poisoned bowl
Not a majestic bird but an ominous owl
Why do I feel like Pandora's box is no ordinary myth but one step closer to death
That the gate I opened will lead to my humble grave
Why do I feel like there will be a plot twist to my thought to be happy end
Was my curiosity the sound that dragged me to death
Was wanting to be happy a stupid wish
I wanted to see the full picture, go full distance
Beyond the morning fog, scratch the night sky to see the real colour beneath
Was there ever a bliss or was I chasing something never seen
Before I even know it, I feel like I'll swallow my regret as I finally meet my end
As I fall in the abyss I chased on my own, I once again wonder if my ambitious was a bless or a cursed throne