Billy be-jiggered and his Bible
Douglas Blair 1951 (London)
I’ll tell ye boys
Storm up dere is a howling.
Your next shift on deck
Forty five minutes.
Terrified huh?
Well listen will ye
To that Jonah account.
God’s prophet.
Go to villainous Ninevah.
Preach repentance.
You gotta be kidding Boss.
They’re a horrible bunch.
Took a ship opposite direction.
Outrun God?
His plans?
Not a chance chicken -shit.
Storm rises up. Real bad one.
Superstitious mates toss out
The ornery prophet.
Swallowed up whole
By a stinking whale.
Three days in cramped muck.
Spat out on some beach.
Repentance returned
The Dead.
Don’t mess with the Lord.
His will and pointing Finger.
P.S. Ninevah heard him preach
Got turned around.
God’s mercy handed out.
Saved. Whole bunch of folks
And their critters too.
That’s the Tale
Man and whale.
(Returning Billy to his squeeze box.
Billows a-singing.
Ever so sweet.
Little buttons scampering.)
All Belowdecks much bettered.
PART TWO
ADAM AND EVE SCREWED UP
had a good thing going
Partners va-va voom.
Greenest living room.
And Man, he named the beasts.
Dominion had, released.
But snakes got in the way
One Law by God held sway
The Tree of Men’s Knowledge
And fruit.
Resist that food, galoot.
The Tree of Life from me.
A most delightful feed.
Now choose my Man, your Mate and
The hellish Serpent hate.
But they heard. Did otherwise.
Kings in their own eyes.
Pity…pretty shitty.
Outcome.
Planet still reeling.
There it is me boys.
Closing the Book.
PART THREE
JESUS, SON OF GOD
Just plain pissed people off.
The movers and shakers and priests.
Who fouled up each Jewish feast.
And laid out the guilt.
Not Peace.
The Master knew all
Of their sham.
And named Himself GREAT I AM.
Addressing with images rare.
The Light, the True Vine, the Door
Living Water, The Shepherd Good.
Simplicity understand.
By people who
Would watch as He bled.
Can you get that Laddies.
The assured high and mighty think.
The Lord has a stink.
Now stop, Billy me Lad.
Jesus erases all bad.
PART FOUR
SODOM IS BELLY UP
TERRIBLE place it was.
Yet Lot lived there with
Wife and two girls.
All around, a filthy Town
With sins of sex awhirl.
Tried to stay apart but
Those devils pressed
With their Sin PACKAGES.
Then some Angels
Tall sturdy handsome
Come for visiting.
“Lot we are directed
To escort you OUT.
Fire coming big time
Nothing will remain.
God is mighty ticked.
Time gentlemen time.”
But Lot’s Wife messed up.
Looked back at the flames.
As if something there
Held her.
Stupid girl.
Turned into salt. Her own fault.
Remember when you
Leave a Cesspool, Guys
Eyes forward. OK.
And hold your breath.
Amen.
PART FIVE
RUTH WAS WIDOWED.
Not of the Hebrew line
Mother in law Naomi
Different story.
Nothing to do but return
To Bethlehem
(House of Bread).
Elder and younger
Adhering like glue
In Love and Trust.
Ruth hit some fields.
Gleaning.
Farmer-statesman Boaz.
The love interest.
Ready to do the
Deeds of Kinsman-Redeemer.
Estate, baby
No ifs or maybes.
God loves His women.
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Written on February 03, 2023
Submitted by dougb.72572 on February 03, 2023
Modified by dougb.72572 on February 03, 2023
- 3:06 min read
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Quick analysis:
Scheme | ABXXCDEFGXXXHIXXHJFKLXMXNXOMXJXPLLXBXBX QBRRSTUUXXEDXXXVVDRBAX IGSTXXXRRWXXXPNAXXYY QXXXXKFXXXRBXJRXXRQXWOXXPVUXX XXDDXRNOPZXBXZCODAH |
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Closest metre | Iambic trimeter |
Characters | 2,956 |
Words | 620 |
Stanzas | 5 |
Stanza Lengths | 39, 22, 20, 29, 19 |
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"Billy be-jiggered and his Bible" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 31 May 2023. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/149850/billy-be-jiggered-and-his-bible>.
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