Anhedonia

Who am i without you?
Someone i rather not be
Alone trying to fill the hole
That has overtaken my soul
With anything and everything
Even though i know it’s bad for me
Full of despair
I’d stop sending up prayers
Completely hopeless
Self assured duress
Straight up miserable
Overthinking every invisible
Meaning disappears
Unleashed are all of my fears
Nothing to look forward to
If I didn’t have you
Held back by all the feelings i held dear
The Devil’s angel whispering in my ear
Reminding me
Of the happy i can no longer be
Metaphysical pain
Sensation of an eternal rain
Dopamine production halted
My metaphorical wounds heavily salted
Some of these things I’ve felt before
It’s why i fear them even more
An anti-elixir
This is a glimpse of the picture
Now you can see
Why without you, i rather not be.