Incompetent to live

…..
It’s done
The last straw has been pulled
I am a black hole now , a source of darkness
I don’t remember being the sun , being happy
All the walls have collapsed
The weight is to much to bare
Becoming a black hole is easier
Losing myself is easier
Now that all my faces are burnt
Now that after so many experiences,mutations I don’t recognise myself
I loathe myself
And I pity the people who love me
Their love is gruesome
Not because it’s not true
But because it’s way too much to feel
And I don’t have the capacity to feel even a fraction of their love
I am an abomination an abhorrence
I am not meant for this world
I am confusing and complicated and I absolutely loathe myself
A person who doesn’t feel human