Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder when things will go without interruption. Smooth interactions, never turning into drama. Wondering when people will understand me and it doesn’t always have to be a dramatic issue. Can’t say age or maturity as both coincide but it only exudes if you are happy. Experiences one can’t begin to consolidate to a formula equaling to the understanding you created, after you FELT, it was ok to experiment with me. Sometimes I ask what was so hard about just being real with me? Her, her and her. All along on my side I’m turning them down left and right staying loyal. PATIENT, that should’ve my middle name, waiting on the day you would just see all needed was right in front of you. Disappointment after disappointment, yet, not once did I accuse or belittle. Sometimes communication solves explosions of heartache we never would have to visit. A queen right? Affirmations daily spoken to whom you raise, a belief system you know is correct, why not treat me the same? Love had for you, UNCONDITIONAL, rewarded with looking stupid. Why? Embarrassed over n over yet still rode it out. Sometimes pushing the ones away who are down for the real you, really isn’t even worth the benefit. Sometimes, wondering if you even truly recognized just how solid I was. Pondering on if you understood I’d fall into the trenches and back with you. Sometimes I wonder if things will go without interruption. Smooth connection never encountering drama because it’s pure. Purest form of my intention with you which was always brewed from a GENUINE HEART. Wild isn’t it? This thing called life. Sometimes enfolding my emotion in this game of word play makes the healing process easier. What other way to make a crowd hear you, when choosing not to really see you. Still feeling like I’m the midst of the solitude, solace and non peaceful serenity, could all be flipped around if I only had you. Sometimes, the cycle never ends. One day, you will really glance back and understand my punishment given wasn’t ever meant to be earned. Sometimes pain issue isn’t flipped back to you, only the loss you gain off the expense of destroying other’s feelings towards you. Can’t say age or maturity as both coincide…Miss me…just like all the days I’ve missed you (Selah).

-NESH