WHY ME?

When I ink about myself I hate myself why me what have I done so bad in my life that I lost my son and he won't forgive me for the past I've learned to live with a broken heart and I have no tears to cry out as if my heart has been broken I think about all the things I've done in my life that hurt my children but today I'm better by the grace of God and he gave me the strength to be strong.I DO HAVE LOTS OF LOVE FOR MY 3 CHILDREN FOURTEEN YEARS YEARS LIVING WITH OUT THEM AND THERE ALL GROWN AND ARE IN GOOD HANDS BY THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST I LOVE TO EXPRESS MYSELF BY THAT I HAVE WRITTEN MY LIFE STORY FOR THE public TO KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I AM 48 AND ALSO GOD BLESSED ME WITH ME HAVING A GRANDDAUGHTER. MY PAST WAS REALLY HARD I HAD NO FAMILY SUPPORT I WAS LEFT DRY. I HAD TO AND I HAVE TO KNOW CARE FOR MYSELF GOD HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME AND I AM STILL ALIVE. I'M AFRAID OF DEATH. I HAVE NO MORE FRIENDS BECAUSE