Analysis of Old Paul and Old Tim
William Schwenck Gilbert 1836 – 1911
When rival adorers come courting a maid,
There's something or other may often be said,
Why HE should be pitched upon rather than HIM.
This wasn't the case with Old PAUL and Old TIM.
No soul could discover a reason at all
For marrying TIMOTHY rather than PAUL;
Though all could have offered good reasons, on oath,
Against marrying either - or marrying both.
They were equally wealthy and equally old,
They were equally timid and equally bold;
They were equally tall as they stood in their shoes -
Between them, in fact, there was nothing to choose.
Had I been young EMILY, I should have said,
"You're both much too old for a pretty young maid,
Threescore at the least you are verging upon";
But I wasn't young EMILY. Let us get on.
No coward's blood ran in young EMILY'S veins,
Her martial old father loved bloody campaigns;
At the rumours of battles all over the globe
He pricked up his ears like the war-horse in "Job."
He chuckled to hear of a sudden surprise -
Of soldiers, compelled, through an enemy's spies,
Without any knapsacks or shakos to flee -
For an eminent army-contractor was he.
So when her two lovers, whose patience was tried,
Implored her between them at once to decide,
She told them she'd marry whichever might bring
Good proofs of his doing the pluckiest thing.
They both went away with a qualified joy:
That coward, Old PAUL, chose a very small boy,
And when no one was looking, in spite of his fears,
He set to work boxing that little boy's ears.
The little boy struggled and tugged at his hair,
But the lion was roused, and Old PAUL didn't care;
He smacked him, and whacked him, and boxed him, and kicked
Till the poor little beggar was royally licked.
Old TIM knew a trick worth a dozen of that,
So he called for his stick and he called for his hat.
"I'll cover myself with cheap glory - I'll go
And wallop the Frenchmen who live in Soho!
"The German invader is ravaging France
With infantry rifle and cavalry lance,
And beautiful Paris is fighting her best
To shake herself free from her terrible guest.
"The Frenchmen in London, in craven alarms,
Have all run away from the summons to arms;
They haven't the pluck of a pigeon - I'll go
And wallop the Frenchmen who skulk in Soho!"
Old TIMOTHY tried it and found it succeed:
That day he caused many French noses to bleed;
Through foggy Soho he spread fear and dismay,
And Frenchmen all round him in agony lay.
He took care to abstain from employing his fist
On the old and the crippled, for they might resist;
A crippled old man may have pluck in his breast,
But the young and the strong ones are cowards confest.
Old TIM and Old PAUL, with the list of their foes,
Prostrated themselves at their EMILY'S toes:
"Oh, which of us two is the pluckier blade?"
And EMILY answered and EMILY said:
"Old TIM has thrashed runaway Frenchmen in scores,
Who ought to be guarding their cities and shores;
Old PAUL has made little chaps' noses to bleed -
Old PAUL has accomplished the pluckier deed!"
Scheme | ABCC DDEE FFGG BAHH IIXX JJKK LLMM NNOO PPQQ RRSS TTUU VVSS WWXX YYUA ZZAB 1 1 WW |
---|---|
Poetic Form | Quatrain (69%) |
Metre | 110111001 11011011011 11111011011 11001111011 11101001011 11001001011 11111011011 011001011001 101001001001 101001001001 101001111011 01101111011 11111001111 11111101011 1101111001 111011001111 11011011001 01011011001 10011011001 11111101101 11011101001 11001111001 011011111 11100101011 11011011011 0100111111 11111001011 111110011 1110110101 11011101011 011111001111 11111011011 01011001111 101011011101 11101101101 101101011001 11101101011 111111011111 1101111011 01001011010 01001011001 11001001001 01001011001 11011101001 01001001001 11101101011 11001101011 01001011010 11001101101 11111011011 11010111001 01011101001 111101101011 101001011101 01011111011 10100111101 11011101111 101111001 111111011 01001001001 1111101001 11111011001 11111011011 111010011 |
Closest metre | Iambic hexameter |
Characters | 2,908 |
Words | 550 |
Sentences | 20 |
Stanzas | 16 |
Stanza Lengths | 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4 |
Lines Amount | 64 |
Letters per line (avg) | 36 |
Words per line (avg) | 9 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 145 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 34 |
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Submitted on May 13, 2011
Modified on March 05, 2023
- 2:48 min read
- 140 Views
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"Old Paul and Old Tim" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/41250/old-paul-and-old-tim>.
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