Analysis of Ophelia (renewal)

I crave renewal
To be reborn in a body not built for agony
I want to know
I can be remade

My days are filled with pain
Two out of how many more diagnoses needed
If this is my life, how can I live it?  
I am never comfortable
I have lost the joys of
Cozy cold comforting mornings
Wrapped in softness and needing to go nowhere

If every time you did what brought you joy
Writing drawing painting gaming
Slicing burning shot through your hands
You become trained like the tinkling of a bell
Not quite to salivate and expect dinner

If your body felt like bricks rubbing against each other
Creating piles of clay dust embodying your energy
Why even get out of bed
(Except expecting it to be another place of suffering)

If your mind and eyes could not quite rest on words before you
Knowing you were so much more
What reasons could there be to keep reading

When Ophelia becomes enviable
Beautiful corpse in the water
Preserved in prettiness
Natural forevermore
Flowers adorning her as a queen would have gold

I would lose myself to the water
Break my bones over river stones
Let the salt of the ocean depths take my breaths

The sea, my siren herself, sings sweetly