Analysis of Intrusive Thoughts
“when I’m with you I feel like I could die and that would be alright..”
On a good day, there’s color to your cheeks along with a smile
-From ear to ear-
Like everything’s okay and our life hasn’t been fading away,
Right along side of yours.
Like opportunity opened up new doors,
And didn’t slam them in our faces from every direction and all at once.
“I wish I could get back there, someplace back there"
Like you are still you and I am still me-
even though you weren’t an angel and I was so naive,
Everything was okay.
“how do I get back there to the place where I fell asleep inside you..”
Good days are few and far between now.
They are replaced by pains and aches
-Literally and figuratively-
Replaced with hateful resentment
-You resenting me for my body not betraying me, and I resenting you for your slow death and all that it is (has) taken away from me and from us.-
The good days are replaced with me watching you sleep, checking to see the soft rise and fall of your shallow breathing, indicating you’re still here and by thoughts so intrusive they make my chest swell and crack with loss and growing grief like it does when I don’t swat them away.
Replaced by me watching the life draining out of you like a river running dry.
“How do I get myself back to that place where you said I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life
I’m not listening when you say, goodbye"
Scheme | X X X A X X X X B X A X X X B X X A C X C |
---|---|
Poetic Form | |
Metre | 111111111101111 101111011101101 1111 11010101111001 101111 1010010111 01110101011000100111 1111111111 1111101111 1011111001111 1011 11111110111101011 111101011 1111101 1000001000 1110010 101011110101010101011111011111100111011 01111111011101101101111010100111011101011111011101011111111101 1111001101111010101 1111111111111110111111101111 111001111 |
Closest metre | Iambic octameter |
Characters | 1,484 |
Words | 301 |
Sentences | 10 |
Stanzas | 21 |
Stanza Lengths | 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 |
Lines Amount | 21 |
Letters per line (avg) | 52 |
Words per line (avg) | 13 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 52 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 13 |
About this poem
You can find this poem's original publishing along with more of my writing here: https://medium.com/jolivers-twist/when-im-with-you-i-feel-like-i-could-die-and-that-would-be-alright-1e6090ea4e39?sk=26503581df47c7dd6d5b2bff29f43787
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"Intrusive Thoughts" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 20 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/186734/intrusive-thoughts>.
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