Stay

Stay

Problems day in and day out, arguing, no affection, tension when one of us walked in the room, we were consumed and yet we stayed......

Talk of a wedding, dreaming about a future together, through all the mess we stayed......

Feeling of defeat, feeling rejection, brought us to the edge of no return, we talked openly finally and I thought we decided to stay.....

All the while a past love enters the picture not available but wanted anyway, you pursue, she subdues, I'm tossed by the current created not knowing that in the end I would be the one to drown but for now I'm staying......

Working on me, working on us, fighting to get it right because I believe we can I'm staying.....

Working on her, chasing but can't catch, turned down, feeling hurt again just like years ago, not realizing the love that you're jeopardizing, can't have that cake and eat it too, she doesn't want you, not really wanting to but staying....

Drawings of love, messages filled with commitment, letting her know you aren't going anywhere, no pictures come my way, no notes for the years of struggle, love, commitment, drowning in the sea of forgetfulness you tossed me into with no lifesaver to keep me afloat, swimming towards the love I hold so dear, swimming for my life, trying to stay......

It haunts my every waking hour, dreams of my love with her, second best maybe less, not the priority I'm now the minority in my own relationship, still I'm staying......

Expressed myself, told to shake it off, get over it, time has passed so let it go, no understanding for the pain that cripples, the hurt that blinds, can't reach the knife in my back, why am I staying.....

Feelings take over, can't control them any longer, had to respond to what I read, sent the message, cussed out about it, taking it too far you said, staying....

Spoke with her, finally, was told she wasn't feeding into it, work on my relationship, how can I when she is in love with you....
my thoughts, apologized because it was right, set it straight, I'm woman enough to try, no thoughts of my how or my why, fighting to stay......

All you can see is that she knows but I thought you told her a long time ago, is this more lies, am I staying.....

Leave me once again with an ultimatum, stay or go, I break, all day the tears flow, when you return no questions for me, no wondering if I'm ok, should I be staying.....

I'm told that her girl saw my message, still you keep her in the forefront, still she is your priority, now it's all because of me, NO you set this in motion, left me in the ocean to sink or swim, I did my part, I apologized, if her girl knows you want her girl then I'm glad I opened up her eyes, now she can see just as clearly as me, you don't want me to be staying......

Woke to you on Facebook with your friends, no good morning, so here we go again, I had all night to face the facts that even when you say you're fighting, there is still something that you lack, say you respect me, but don't show it in the way you act, say I'm not your second choice yet her feelings come first, you cry buckets because you may have lost her altogether, I get thrown in because you say you love me too just not as much for her do you, I can't stay......

Consolation prize am I, can see how you want her in your eyes, why try to compete with that kind of longing, when I'm constantly shown that there's no belonging, so here I sit writing out this shit, getting it all off my mind, clearing my heart of the turmoil, preparing it for some new soil, time to grow past my pain, broke hearted, I'll never be the same, deserve better, I'm worth the fight, walking away so I won't kill you in your sleep one night, after finding that you're still pushing, hoping one day she'll start pulling, you don't know what you're losing, but one day you'll wish I stayed......