Good friends

You really missed a treat, good friend.
You really should have been there.
We all agreed it was the best there was!
It was a shame that you were elsewhere!

I've never drunk so much free beer,
and the bourbon will do me for life!
Everything, this year was on the house!
And-I-also-took-good-care-of-your-wife!

Just think it was was the first time you missed it.
and it was the best ever by far!
When your wife and I stopped halfway there.
We-found-money-in-the-back-seat-of-your-car!

Two girls on a zebra put on quite an act.
They were very athletic,and both completely bare!
As erotic as the other three..Gee! that was a show.
And then there was the other one.Or should I say the pair!

Your wife did the turn that she knows how to do.
But this time...Totally nude!
She said that you always wanted to help.
But-she-was-never-in-the-mood!

A coachload of girls from town turned up.
The "gay divorcees " I think they were called.
Did they ever spread love around!
Between-them-and-your-wife-happiness-ruled!

Your wife told me about your problem.
Her "accident" with the knife.
A prosthesis doesn't work down there!
And now you're stuck without it!...For life!

She took me to "your" Rose garden.
By gee! that's a romantic place.
I noticed she wore her fishnet stockings!
And-that-top-made-of-see-through-lace!

She told me all your problems.
and I "consoled" her for an hour!
I must have done a really good job,
'cos-she-was-still-giggling-during-our-shower!

But still, I bought you a memento!
 A slab of ice cold beer!
But on the drive home we got
thirsty-and-hot-and-drank-your-souvenir!