Blood in the Snow

Little tiny bundle that rests in my womb
 That reminds me of him and I
 Sweet little flutters as our love grows
 Inside . . .
I'm apprehensive it was my love not ours
 My desire to be filled that caused our union to happen so quickly
 and his desire to be free that pulled him away
 From . . .
Our love could have been so great
 The reflection of us in her while she plays
 Sweet like sugar
 Strong like steel
 She will steal some young man's heart
 One day . . .

 You may see her and notice that she carries your smile and my eyes
 She walks with my same gentle insecure stride
 Yet laughs like you
 And you wonder?
 Could she have been mine?
 Could she have been ours?
 That grew in her womb
 The same heart that flutters
 And made my lover cry as she lay on her back and listened for the last time.
 The last time when she told our baby goodbye.

 She could have been sweet like sugar
 Strong like steel
I played with her heart and she could not heal
 She could see my smile in our baby's face
 So she said goodbye before saying hello
Her love was real, innocent, and pure
 I didn't deserve what I took from her hungrily
 It's not her fault she loved me and wanted to show me
 As she laid her body down and spread her legs and looked up toward the ceiling praying to God it wouldn't hurt.
 Asking Him to make me like her, make me love her . . .
I heard her prayers
 I loved her that's why I pushed her away
 I had another that wasn't so tame
In my world she would have grown bitter and our child would have been shamed
 Our child
 Hers and mine
 I sit at the bar and raise my glass this is how I say goodbye to the life we created
 The life that had to die . . .
Sweet like sugar
 Strong like steel
Maybe one day your heart will heal
 And you'll find another and create a new life
 That will have your spirit and your smile
 I watch through the window as you hold your empty stomach and sob
 Lifeless . . .

 I loved you
 I did
But I couldn't leave my wife.
 This is our final goodbye
 I'm sorry it took all this time
 And I filled your head with maybe's
 Filled your womb with a child only for it to be murdered
Your warm heart now cold
 Debating whether you will ever trust love again
 I felt the ache in your last tear drop
 Saw you grab for the gun
 Put it in your mouth and pull the trigger

 I stood frozen like cement
 My beautiful young one what have you done?
 You were better than me, better than this
 So much better than this . . .