Backfire

This can't be life and this can't be real
What I wouldn't give to end it all and never have to feel
Never imagined this would be my life
I can't imagine going on in this world
Whatever happened to that smiling happy little girl?
She no longer exists
She gave up a long time ago
Life dealt her a crappy *ss hand and she just couldn't deal
So she went ahead and ended it all
Wanting to never have to feel
None of it was her fault
Besides can you really control your destiny?
But all of her choices seemed to backfire
Nothing ever went as planned
She grew tired of being let down
Disappointed in the constant disappointment
Grew sick of bandaging old wounds that never seemed to heal
So she ended it all
Wanting so badly to never have to feel
Backfire
Everything she ever tried
Everyone she ever knew
So she rested her head on a pillow in the darkness of her room
And she closed her eyes
She replayed every heart break
Relived every disappointment
Went through every choice that ever backfired
Ran down the list of all her scars that seemed to never heal
She let it all go
Slit her wrist and let the pain drain away
She finally smiled again

Because she knew she would never have to feel again