I'M far too young for saga

I’M FAR TOO YOUNG FOR  S.A.G.A.

I’m far too young for SAGA
I’m nearly eighty-two
Still full of youthful  vigour
And that, my friends, won’t do.
It’s better if you’re doddery
Then SAGA comes to life
And sends a representative
To help you find your wife.

I’m far too young for SAGA
I don’t walk with a cane
And drinking tea with wrinklies
Would drive me quite insane.
But, if I would be truthful
The food is really fine
And the aged person’s appetite
Is twice as good as mine.

I’m far too young for SAGA
I don’t wish to be rude
But some of the poor old buggers
Only live for food.
They enjoy a hearty breakfast
Then coffee, cakes and brunch
And stay and chat a little while
Until it’s time for lunch.

I’m far too young for SAGA
For on a recent cruise
Almost all my fellow travellers
Enjoyed an hourly snooze.
You are making conversation
And if you pause to cough
The geezer you’ve been talking to
Has suddenly dropped off.

I’m far too young for SAGA
They sit round drinking wine
And listen to a pianist
Until it’s half past nine.
Then all goes deathly quiet
So take heed Mr Smith
That, Sex And Games for Ancients
Is just a bloody myth.

Alan Parry-Booth  15.7.13