Those eyes, That gaze

What a bittersweet feeling
To dislike someone you once loved
To realize they weren’t the one after all

My perception of him is now made up of rumours
Small glimpses of his life that I stumble upon if I’m lucky
Am I only hearing bad parts, or where there only ever bad parts to hear?

What a shocking contrast
To avoid the person I once lived for
To cringe at the name I once smiled at the thought of
Butterflies turned to dead weight in my stomach

I decided that I hate him,
But then I remember his gaze as i held his face in my hands
How could such innocent eyes ever turn my heart to stone?

If I had told the girl holding his face in her hands
That she only had two weeks left,
I don’t think she would have believed it

What a bizarre feeling, to be farsighted
To see him more clearly after months apart
Than I ever did up close

What a terrible thought
To know I’ll hate him for years longer than I loved him