If this is my life I'd rather be dead than alive

Every day when I chose to stay in my house rather than going outside,
The society marks me as a person with no hopes and goals inside.
They say me that I’m wasting my time and destroying my life,
Even though they don’t waste a second of theirs, thinking of my life.
My family says I should do whatever I want to do,
Yet they force me to do whatever they want me to do.
My father says everything happens by the will of god,
Yet he scolds me when I question to god.
They morn when somebody dies,
Yet they forget the next person alive.
My family says me that they will always support me,
Yet they are the first ones to stop me.
They say that there isn’t any age to start up,
Yet they ask me that it’s your age when will you start up?
They say me that you are a boy you shouldn’t cry,
Yet they give me reasons to make my eyes cry.
They say me that you should be thankful that your life is not tough,
But they hate me when I ask for the device to measure the misery of life.
They say me enjoy your life and be alive,
Yet they do the things to make me wanna die.