Paxil in a Nut-Shell



Paxil in a Nut-Shell
 
Alone in silence.
I can hear her screaming.
Blood curdling screaming.
I cover my ears but she wont stop.
I sob.
Please stop I beg.
She screams louder.
 
I walk to our
I walk to my empty room.
It’s been a week since he left.
I fall to my knees screaming through my sobs.
I can hear her screaming too.
 
A million knives stabbing me.
All with a name.
PAIN, ANGER, FEAR, SADNESS, BETRAYAL, DEATH, HATE, ANGUISH
One knife as sharp as the next.
WHY WONT SHE STOP SCREAMING???
Am I nuts?
 
I stare at the bottle on the table.
Paxil it says on the label.
They promised this would stop her screaming.
A little pink pill. I swallow.
She screams.
 
Wait. Hello? Where did you go???
No screams.
Only the echo of my voice.
I don’t feel the knives.
I don’t feel anything.
 
I can function.
I…is it really I?
Am I me? Who am I?
Why cant I feel anything?
Was that me screaming?
Did I get rid of myself???
 
I can function. I don’t feel.
 
I watch as my father eats his peanuts.
CRACK!
He opens the shell to reveal the nut.
 
Paxil is my shell. I am the nut.

About this poem

This is the 2nd poem in a 4 poem poetry suite. The poem describes my feelings before and during my use of the ani-depressant Paxil.

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Written on 2021

Submitted by Amirah.askander on April 04, 2022

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:15 min read
40

Quick analysis:

Scheme X XAAXXXB BXXXX XXXXAC DDAEF EFXXA XGGAAX X CXH H
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 1,075
Words 252
Stanzas 10
Stanza Lengths 1, 7, 5, 6, 5, 5, 6, 1, 3, 1

Amirah Coleman

I have wrote my whole life. Whether it was short stories, songs, or poems… writing is what helps me express what I can’t verbalize. Having Borderline Personally Disorder my emotions are hard to handle. Some of my poems allow me to dig down deep into hard traumas to take a deep look into my thoughts as I experience them. more…

All Amirah Coleman poems | Amirah Coleman Books

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  • Soulwriter
    Appreciate your sharing your truth that I'm sure plenty can relate to...
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"Paxil in a Nut-Shell" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/126524/paxil-in-a-nut-shell>.

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