Analysis of Letting Go
William Justesen 2000 (Oregon)
I thought about you today and,
for the first time in a long time,
I didn’t obsess over the thought.
I neither bent, nor broke.
Although you gave me a life,
I can no longer accept that which you provided.
No longer will I gaze into the mirror,
longingly wondering which would break first,
the mirror or my being as a whole.
The recollection of feeble attempts I had made to fill the void in my soul invoke bile from within me.
Gazing at the ceiling, sweating profusely, as if every drop were a tear being sent from every inch, every pore of my battered body, will no longer be a daily routine.
In the past I’d reminisce on the time we’d spent together in wonder.
Until I realized that I was living on borrowed time.
Time that I will never be able to pay back in full.
Nearly all color had drained from my view, leaving only shades of grey, along with the occasional bloody red or dull blue.
I had been blinded to the beauty the Holy Spirit had blessed us.
For many moons I lived this way, seemingly a ghost wandering purgatory, awaiting judgment.
The assumption of where I was headed ate away at my conscience.
But I came to realize, in light the darkness must fade, for they cannot coexist.
It was in the moment of reckoning I realized that just as light and dark, misery couldn’t occupy my mind if I expelled the emotions it related to.
For misery loves company, but the friendship which it provided is something I neither desire, nor can accept.
No longer will I be enslaved, weighed down by chains wrapped around my ankles.
Today is the first day I gained the strength to break the chains.
Although tomorrow I know I must break them again.
Scheme | ABCDEFGHIJKGBLMNOPQMRSTU |
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Poetic Form | |
Metre | 11011010 10110011 11011001 110111 111101 1111001111010 11011101010 1001001111 0101110101 00101100111111010110111011 101010100101110010011011100110011110101110101001 00110110111010010 0111011110111 11111011011101 1011011111101011101100100101111 11110101001010111 110111111000110010001010 00101111101011110 1111100101011111001 1100101100110111101100110111101001010101 110011001010110101101100101101 110111011111101110 01101111011101 10111111101 |
Characters | 1,651 |
Words | 329 |
Sentences | 19 |
Stanzas | 1 |
Stanza Lengths | 24 |
Lines Amount | 24 |
Letters per line (avg) | 54 |
Words per line (avg) | 13 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 1,294 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 306 |
About this poem
I wrote this directly after a Cocaine Anonymous meeting in which I finally made the realization that my focus in recovery is truly life or death. My friend got a call that one of his friends he met in rehab had died of an overdose. The thought of being attached to the misery that my addiction had brought ruminated in my mind that night. So, I started writing to get the thoughts out before they could start eating at my conscience.
Written on January 22, 2022
Submitted by 17william.justesen on February 07, 2022
Modified by 17william.justesen on February 07, 2022
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"Letting Go" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/119270/letting-go>.
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