Mother Knows Best

Mother knows best
It echoes through my memories
"I told you not to run by the pool
Now let's clean up your knees"
Mother knows best and I didn't listen
"Homework first then you can play"
And when I couldn't focus you were there
To get me back on track but when
Did I change from your little girl to your big disappointment?
Was it when my face became a minefield of shifting hormones with overcast eyes?
Mother knows best "Don't worry,
Mommy can fix it. A little extra money spent to have them clean up your picture. See how pretty you'd be if your skin were clearer and your teeth white?"
Was it when my sister moved away, when she’d rather stay with Dad than you? Leaving me alone with you?
Was it when my body packed away the weight in preparation for a harsh winter never to come Mother knows best
"We'll go on a diet and get you moving
That'll fix it"
Was it when my grades began to slip as I lost my motivation, what was that again? A career? What is that? But I know what I want to be when I grow up
"Artist isn't a career, you won't sell until you're dead"
Mother knows best
Or was it when the doctor gave me those pills? The great solution those "helpful balancers" to help with the big D
Depression
"How could it be? You were such a happy child." Mother knows best
"You're so happy now, you laugh and smile"
But it's more than that, it's the bullying and the expectations and the stress and the pressure
And then its a blur of homework and counselors and then you're proud of me again "My baby, so smart you're graduating"
Mother knows best
College is next and I try but I'm not ready or not cut out for it, I stay but in the end I cry, its too much, I quit
"So you should find a job then"
Mother knows best
On my own I apply and leave my resume and answer their questions but don't get hired
"Don't worry, I'll fix it"
Mother knows best
I work and I drive and you forget that I'm depressed you thought I beat it, and I don't say its name because you don't wanna see it but no one told me that the bullying doesn't stop that the stress doesn't stop it just gets a new name
Managers
I try and I cry 'til I quit the job cuz I'm tired
Of being pushed around and taken for granted the 'I don't wanna say it' gets worse and you say
"You're a stranger now"
Mother knows best
Finally I tell you what I didn't want to say
The depression never left and it's why I quit work it's why I quit classes you say "I'm depressed too"
Finally I think you'll see things from my point of view I try to explain how hard it makes everything
"Then fix it!"

Mother knows best

"Don't you walk away from me young lady"
But im fixing it, I didn't see before how easy it could be
"You look at me while I'm talking to you"
I can't look, I have to focus
"What are you doing? "
I'm fixing it
"No wait put that down"
But I'm fixing-
"I didn't mean it you’re going to hurt yourself"
Yes you did because you say what you mean and you mean what you say and you've never said something you didn't mean
You’ve never taken back your words, you’ve never seen their effect on me
Now you will but don’t worry, now you’ll only have one daughter to worry about
I'm fixing it this time and this way
I won't be your big disappointment anymore