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Darkness Is Closing In

 
 
Darkness is closing in,my chest is tight
my fears are enveloping me. Why are
they haunting me?
They whisper to me and are talking to
me reminding me of pasts behind me.
Trying to move, I'm frozen with fear my
head is pounding,my heart is racing and
darkness is closing in, I cannot sleep
for fear I will die, I am physically ill
even with her by my side, oxygen on but
the shadows they do linger above me
as I lay here and darkness is closing
in on me.
Freezing one minute and boiling the next
all I see before me is the darkness closing
in,on me. In my vision all I see is red and
black, firey flames and satin's face circling
me. He is real for I have seen his face,
the firey pits of hell envelope him and his evil
place. An darkness closing in all around me,
I'm falling, shaking and screaming but no one
can hear me, my body convulsing, the stomach
is turning and rolling like thunder. I'm shaking and screaming. My bones rattling me to the
core and my head is spinning so fast it feels
like I'm on the roller coaster to hell, I know what is coming but I can not tell for if I do
all hell will break loose. Holding on for dear life as darkness closes in on me. I went off the meds for such a time thinking
its just for a very short time, to fix one problem created so much more, more then I could fathom n this brain of mine. So, much had been taken and the damage of the past had been done that going back on the meds was the only way I could fight the awful darkness that is closing in on me. The nightmares, the terrors, all to unclear yet I know it is the dark lord who bashes me with my fears. I hurling and hurling, and suffocating and drowning in my past and fears. The worries are consuming me for fear that I am falling into the darkness that is so unclear. But, I dare not ask for help, for fear I will be tore down this bi-polar
disorder is driving me insane.
I know I need help before the darkness closes in and takes my soul somewhere I have never been and never ever want to go. For, if I go I'll never know or see the loved ones I miss or the ones still yet to go. So, back on the meds I go.
The darkness and smoke will not fade away until the day my meds have chased them away.
The residue that will reside will be gone once the meds kick them aside. I learned my lesson the hard way and almost lost the one I love,my heart and soul my man I love,my home and family too.
Oh, father in heaven thank you for the help and chasing the darkness that was closing in away.
 
 
 
(what I felt during my nervous breakdown)
 
 
 
 
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