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There is something that always weighed on my mind thoughts have always run through my mind trying to always find something to think about never wanting to have an idle mind. I always thought about every decision that i've made good or, bad right or wrong, weighing every option plotting out every choice all the while trying to regain my lost voice. At times I can express my emotions then there are times when I want to bottle them up and there are other times when I should express myself but, I never do it enough. My emotions at times can be shattered through the means of heartbreak, pain, despair, and regression and sometimes when I cry I look to the sky and ask will I ever make any progress and end my stress.
The sillence is often peaceful, the calm is relaxing, and the time to isolate my self from my own self inflicted past, present, and future often give me an ounce of hope while I battle my demons trying to avoid a downward swoon. Agony swallows my thoughts whole, when my thought process is empty it often alludes me, all the while trying to find an identity, just wanting peace of mind and when my mind sleeps I hope to find it in due time. The voices inside my head taking me two different plaes one wants me to be an aid, give hope, and give directions to the garden to plant seeds and help others give birth to their dreams. The other voice wants me to murder, wants me to shed blood that is not my own, the other voice wants me to be weighed down and feel as though I am a burden and then question everything i've been given even though at times I can honestly admit that I did not deserve it and was everything that I obtained worth it.
At times the pain clouds my joy, the rain wets the sunshine, and the petals from my flower has withered and I at times wonder how i'll be remembered.
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December my birth
the sign of the times king born
sagittarius

I’ve worked in  mills
and used it a lot,
An old tractor
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I was in the darkest of my days
When I called out to the Lord
Tormented by my pains
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Before a kiss a sea breeze...
 
Lapped it gentle
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The fountain of youth exists within us.
To find this rare elixir is the task.
Without it, life is destined for sickness
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Love can bring joy and pain.
Yet,to experience either is gain.
For without love in your life you drift in the seas.
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When Mum spoke
she did so -firm,
Make no mistake
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